Thursday, January 31, 2008

Batman, Batman, Batman and Batman

Son: Daddy, I want you to tell me about Batman and Batman and Batman and more Batman.

Daddy: Okay...

Once upon a time, Batman was driving through the city when all of a sudden he saw the Bat signal in the sky. He rushed to the roof of the police building to meet Commissioner Gordon. When he got to the roof, he saw something very strange. There was another Batman already talking to Commissioner Gordon. Batman wondered what could be going on.

"I know I'm the real Batman, so who could that be?" Batman said.

As he watched and wondered, he saw something else very strange. Another Batman was swinging on to the rooftop to meet Commissioner Gordon. "This is very strange." thought Batman, "Now there are two Batman's talking to Commissioner Gordon, and neither one of them is me!"

While Batman was watching and thinking this, ANOTHER Batman came swinging to the rooftop to meet Commissioner Gordon. "Three Batmans?!" Batman said as he watched. "How can there be three Batmans? And none of them is me!"

Batman watched as the three Batman's stood and talked with the very confused Commissioner Gordon. "I better investigate." said batman. And he started creeping around the rooftop, looking for clues.

Pretty soon, Batman found a clue. He held it up to look at it. It was a little hand-buzzer, the kind the Joker uses. "Hmm," thought Batman, "this is a funny thing to find up here."

As he continued to look, he found another clue. It was a purple mask; the kind the Riddler sometimes wears. "Interesting," thought Batman, "This is a puzzing clue. Why would something like this be up here?"

With a little more investigating, Batman found a top-hat; the same king the Penguin wears. "This clue is definitely fishy." said Batman, "I think I've figured out what's going on."

"Penguin! Joker! Riddler! Take off your masks!" shouted Batman, as he jumped in front of the three fake Batman's. "I know none of you are really Batman, because I'm Batman, and you guys are just try to trick us!"

Commissioner Gordon was startled, and said, "A fourth Batman! Goodness me! I don't think I can take much more of this."

"It's okay, Commissioner." said Batman, "I am the real Batman, and these three fakers are actually the Joker..." Batman pulled off the Joker's fake Batman mask, "the Riddler..." then he pulled off the Riddler's mask. "and the Penguin!" And Batman pulled off the mask the Penguin was wearing.

"These filthy criminals were engaged in a clever rouse." said Batman, "They hoped to fool you into thinking they were the real Batman, to no doubt to gain your trust and thereby commit some heinous act of villainy. However, their plan was doomed to failure since they each attempted to carry out the same deception at once, effectively canceling out any chance of succeeding in any individual plot."

"I see." said Commissioner Gordon, with a confused look on his face. "...Well, thank you for catching the city's worst criminals yet again Batman!"

"It was my pleasure Commissioner." said Batman, "Tell me, why did you put up the Bat signal tonight in the first place?"

"Oh! Yes, well..." said Commissioner Gordon, "it's Mrs. Gordon's birthday, and was wondering if you would like to join us for cake and iced cream."

"That sounds delightful." said Batman.

So Batman and Commissioner Gordon went downstairs to the police department for cake and iced cream.

The End.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

The Justice League at the Grocery Store

Son: Daddy, I want you tell me about Batman and Robin and Superman and Wonder Woman and Flash.

Daddy: Okay...

Once upon a time, Superman was driving to the grocery store because he needed to get some eggs, milk, bread and Diet Coke. As he was driving, he saw Wonder Woman walking to the store on the side walk. He pulled over next to her and said "Hey Wonder Woman, do you want a ride to the store?"

Wonder Woman said, "Sure, thanks Superman. You're a real hero."

So Superman and Wonder Woman drove to the grocery store together. When they got there, they saw Batman and Robin driving around the parking lot in the Batmobile, looking for a parking spot. Superman said, "Hey Batman and Robin! Do you need help finding a parking spot?"

Robin said, "We sure do Superman. Can you help us?"

So Superman used his x-ray vision to look across the parking lot until he found an open spot. He said, "I see a spot for you. It's on the other side of the parking lot."

Batman said, "Great, thanks Superman. You're a real hero."

Superman and Wonder Woman went shopping all around in the store until they had everything they needed, and then they went to check out. Guess who was in the check out line right in front of them.

Son: ...Flash!

Daddy: That's right. Flash was right in front of them in line. As he was about to pay for his groceries he said, "Oh, darn. I'm a couple dollars short. I don't have enough money to pay for my groceries."

Superman said, "That's okay, Flash. I've got a couple extra dollars you can borrow."

And Flash said, "Wow, thanks Superman! You're a real hero."

As Superman and Wonder Woman were loading their groceries into Superman's car, all the people in the parking lot started looking up at the sky, very scared of what they saw. Superman looked up and said, "Oh no! There's a giant meteor falling from the sky, and it's coming straight for this grocery store!" So Superman flew up high into the sky and caught the meteor and threw it all the way out into space.

When he came back down to the parking lot, everybody cheered and said, "Thank you for saving us from that giant meteor, Superman! You're a real hero!"

And Superman and Wonder Woman went home and had French Toast and Diet Coke.

The End.